Sisters Of Blood

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. asked:


You exist within a web of relationships. For instance, if your friend is going through tough times, you may find yourself feeling an emotional heaviness throughout the day, thinking and worrying about your friend. As this colors your mood, your partner may start to notice that lately you’ve been preoccupied and down. Since emotions are contagious, this will impact your partner in some way and her/his interactions with others may now be different as a result of what your friend shared with you.

How is this relevant to your marriage or relationship?

Your relationship exists within a larger social context, and your friends, coworkers, family, and even the society in which you live can directly or indirectly impact your relationship. Think of your relationship as one link on a never-ending chain of connectedness.

This was evident with two couples I recently coached:

A brief story of relationship isolation:

Tad and Wanda have lived together for a little over a year and during a recent coaching session, Wanda complained that “all of our friends seem to be getting divorced or breaking up. It’s depressing and makes me think there’s something wrong with me for trying to make my relationship work. When I try to talk to my friends about a fight I had with Tad, they just tell me to ‘find someone better-suited to you,’ or ‘relationships are overrated anyway.’ The whole ‘there are lots of fish in the sea’ mindset isn’t helpful when I’m trying to make my relationship work now.”

Tad and Wanda lack the couple-to-couple support that is vital for a sustainable, long-term relationship. They both struggle with feeling like the “oddball couple” in a sea of failed relationships (and they don’t have any single friends who are pro-relationship)—and both acknowledged that this was starting to negatively impact their union.

A brief story of marital support:

Molly and Jeff have been together for eleven years. Both are retired and have been active participants in their local community and volunteer for numerous causes. This involvement has offered them opportunities to develop friendships and socialize with other couples.

Molly joked that their friends “saved our marriage on at least two occasions” because of the support they offered Molly. She shared, “If Jeff and I are going through a difficult time, for whatever reason, I don’t feel alone. I have at least two other women I can talk to who have been through difficult times but they’re still happily married…I know I’m not alone in my struggles and that makes a world of difference. And I have a few single friends who are supportive of my relationship and committed relationships in general, even though they’re not in one now. All that encouragement among my friends really helps whenever I start to worry that the challenges of a romantic relationship might be too much for me.”

The need for relationship support

Couples love to hear about other couples who have successful relationships. Have you ever noticed how people in relationships are happy to learn that a famous couple is in it for the long haul? Many couples feel validated to discover that their favorite movie star or musician has resisted the temptations that come with fame and are committed to one person. Notice your reaction the next time you hear that people you know and/or admire are splitting up.

Couples root for other couples—there is an unspoken, cosmic connection, a sense that we’re in this together. If Brad and Angelina can make their relationship work, and your neighbors and friends can make their relationships work, you end up feeling more hopeful that you can make your own work.

Seek Out Relationship Support

Relationship support comes in many forms and the first step is to look in your own backyard. Make a list of all the individuals and couples you know and admire: family, friends, teachers, community leaders, local organizations or church members.

You might be surprised to learn that there are people in your life that have been married or together for a long time (and feel lucky to be with the same person). These couples can be an emotional resource for you and your partner. Would you consider asking them about their relationship, especially what has worked for them? Are you willing to seek their support when you (or your partner) need advice or guidance?

We all need relationship mentors—couples who have successfully navigated the complicated interpersonal terrain that comes with committed relationships. This doesn’t mean you should overlook friends not currently in relationships as potential sources of support. Often single friends who understand and celebrate you and your relationship can be a safe place to go to when you need a different perspective or just need to vent.

Don’t overlook the vast relationship wisdom that surrounds you.

Many couples like spending time with other couples. If most of your friends seem to be in dire relationship straits or your friends’ values regarding commitment differ from your own, you need to expand your social network—seek out couples you and your partner can socialize with, couples dedicated to making their own relationships work. The goal of expanding your couples-support-system doesn’t mean you have to abandon your current friends because they aren’t in a relationship or their relationship is in trouble—it means that you enrich your circle of friends to include those that believe in the benefit of a long-term, committed relationship and will help support you in yours.

It might seem like a paradox that you can be with someone you deeply love, yet still feel isolated. Often couples assume feeling isolated means there is something wrong with their relationship—while this can be an indication that there are problems that need to be addressed, it can also be an indication that your relationship is surrounded by negativity and a lack of support.

No matter how strong your relationship might seem, you and your partner do not exist in a vacuum. When you establish the goal of building a support network for your relationship, you have taken an important step in buffering the damaging effects of relationship-isolation.

Is your relationship worth protecting? Are you ready to make your marriage everything it can be?

dhlim88 asked:


Are you planning to solve your relationship issues so that you can make up with your Ex love partner?

 

 

 

 

I understand that you are very frustrated and eager to have your ex love partner with your side as much as possible. You have to remember that once you have started showing any sign of desperation and desire for your wants, you will never ever achieve what you want. This same goes to any other stuff, personal, work, studies, result, etc. I appreciate that you can follow my advice very thoroughly and carefully. This is because if you follow reading through the piece of article, I can guarantee that you will able to solve your relationship issues with a spark of excellence. Anyway, it is up to you whether you like to use my methods, but you can always use them as part of your references.

 

 

If you have accidentally forgotten some main key points after glancing through this piece of article, do feel free to visit it again. It can help to refresh your memory and light up your imagination and continue pursue your dreams to get your ex love partner back in your relationship. Whatever relationship issues you are struggling with, there is a way to resolve them. You just need to work out what the best type of help for you is and go get it. Well, here are your main options … I will explain all the six categories in short forms. They are mainly to solve it yourself, Get help from friends, family and forums (FFF’s), Get professional help, but which is most appropriate for you? Well, the type of relationship issues you are facing will determine what help is most suitable for you. Let’s look at each of your options in turn.

 

 

Solve your relationship issues yourself. Sometimes it’s just a case of getting the right bit of self help advice and applying it to recover a relationship. You can find a whole host of common answers to relationship issues on this site that may help you tackle the problems you’re facing. I’ll give you direct advice, recommend books, quiz you and tell you the truth. However, you may realise that the issues you’re facing aren’t going to be solved by self help. This is often the case if you’ve attempted it before and failed, if you feel like you’re running out of ways to deal with the issue or if you suspect the reasons for the issue may well run a lot deeper than they first appeared, either on your side or on your partner’s side.

 

 

So what then? Get help from friends, family and forums? (FFF’s)

You know what? No - is the answer! (I’ve nothing personal against your FFF’s by the way

 

 

It may seem harsh or biased to rule it out straight away, but there are a number of reasons for doing this. I won’t go into them in too much depth, but here are a few… Each of your friends will have their own different point of view - how will you know who’s right? It’s very difficult for them to be impartial - because they’re so close to you they’re much less likely to investigate ‘the other side’ of the relationship. If they reinforce your point of view and if you’re wrong it’s only going to damage your relationship further.

 

 

The number of points of view you’ll get can leave you even more confused - if you get 3, 4 or more conflicting views, which do you, believe?

The truth is very difficult to tell you. Your friends are more likely to avoid telling you the truth than hurt you and potentially jeopardise your relationship.

I could go on - but I think you get the picture. If you’re thinking, “Well, he’s a professional relationship counsellor. He would say that, wouldn’t he?” The answer is, no.

 

 

If it really was a beneficial way of solving relationship issues, I would tell you. After all, I believe self help is valuable up to a point. And there are always more people in a month looking for my professional advice than I can deal with, so I have nothing to gain by trying to persuade you that professional help is the best way forward.

 

 

If you’re looking for comfort, empathy and reassurance friends, family and even forums can provide that for you. If you want all of those things and the truth, clarity and your relationship issues resolved, then consider the option of professional relationship advice instead. If you know for sure you can’t afford professional relationship help, and then go back to option 1 to find the answers and use your friends and family to comfort you in the hard times.

 

 

But whatever you do, if you do seek their advice or they provide it, take it with a pinch of salt. It’s very difficult for them to be objective, to be an expert and to tell you the truth, so don’t expect all they say to be good advice just because they’re your friends. Sometimes it’s genuinely very difficult to separate the two (good advice and good friends) in your head. Professional relationship advice -

If you are beating yourself about the head trying to resolve your relationship issues and the self help and the FFF’s aren’t helping, then start looking into relationship coaching. You can book a free consultation, a 1-off coaching session or start coaching weekly with one of our relationship coaches.

 

 

Obviously you can seek help from any professional. However, here I am biased! I recommend myself

 

 

But obviously, you need to make up your own mind about who is the most suitable relationship coach for you. Whatever your relationship issues, there is a way to deal with them. Just make sure you choose the right way for you. Is it Couple in Crisis? - Save your relationship! If you’re looking for relationship help that will actually help save your relationship, then you’re in the right place.  

 

 

With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared if you have faced any problems with your loved one. I have a strong belief that if you understand what I have explained and shared in this piece of article, then the problems could be minimised and your relationship could become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best in your relationship with your partner. Do not forget to support the decision of having making up than breaking up. Your happiness always lies in your hands for the relationship. Once again, I wish all the best and Good Luck to all the couples.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

 

 

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

 

 

 

 

Looking for the magic of making up? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?

 

 

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back

 

 

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leo L Ryan asked:


A compatibility relationship test in some ways should be mandatory for you before you get together in a relationship.

The reason I say this is because too often people make decisions without considering what the long term ramifications can be.

It is well known the divorce rate is very high in almost all countries of the developed world, let alone the number of people who separate after long term arrangements where they are not married, and therefore are not included in these statistics.

I’m sure avoiding marriage relationship problems would be achieved to some extent, if more people undertook a compatibility relationship test before proceeding to get together.

What often happens is people become infatuated or inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for each other, and go ahead with a marriage or relationship on that basis, without any compatibility quizzes.

It is not surprising when you have problems in your relationship if you go down that road as a consequence of that intense passion.

It is so important you are clear about their being a genuine feeling of love between you that a love compatibility test would show, before making any decision regarding the long term. If you are not sure, take your time.

It is not worth getting into a situation where you have committed yourself, and then have to deal with the hassles of handling relationship problems associated with ways to end relationships. A compatibility relationship test could be a way of checking where you stand.

There are so many relationship questions to ask when you find yourself in the situation of considering if you are going to establish an on-going committed relationship with another person, regardless of whether that involves getting married or not. It is so important you have a compatibility match.

People have different ideas about a whole range of issues in connection to marriage and relationships. If you are not clear about where you both stand in relation to a lot of these before getting together with a relationship test, there will be many basic relationship problems to deal with.

An issue such as monogamy, for example. I’m told it is not an uncommon *** relationship problem. Regardless of orientation, it is something each person needs to know where the other stands before embarking on a relationship.

A compatibility relationship test will clarify where each of you stands regarding such things as values, attitudes and beliefs. A serious relationship problem is inevitable if these matters are a bone of contention between you.

An example of this is that your values are very much aligned with having trust in relationships, and your prospective partner is the complete opposite, believing cheating in relationships is quite acceptable.

It would not work out very well if you got together and then discovered your partner thought along those lines. As far as I am concerned, it definitely would be a recipe for disaster and involve relationship commitment problems if your partner thought this way.

A compatibility relationship test would also reveal where each of you stands as far as integrity is concerned. If this is an important value for you, and you discover in a compatibility quiz test it is not for your prospective partner, run for your life.

Let’s be clear about it. To have integrity involves being honest and having strong moral principles. It means sincerity, truthfulness and trustworthiness are your life’s guideposts. Can you imagine the turmoil ahead if this is not a shared value and you would be able to discover this by means of a compatibility quiz.

Marriage relationship problems would also be inevitable if you have different attitudes. If you are an optimist and your partner a pessimist, forget about it, there is really no chance of a successful relationship.

If you have different beliefs, you may be a devout christian or a fundamentalist, and your prospective partner an atheist, a compatibility relationship test would let you know this.

Your approach to life would be very different, making it difficult for you to connect and this would affect your level of intimacy and communication.

The same can be said if you have different political affiliations. It is difficult to imagine how you would relate to each other at a deep level.

I am aware of several people where there are these relationship compatibility questions who have been married for a long time. I know they are not really happy, but they stay together, virtually leading separate lives.

If you dismiss the compatibility relationship test, and proceed with the marriage or relationship and there are all these differences, you are heading for a situation fraught with peril.

There will always be this underlying nagging feeling of discontent, that gnaws away inside you, and prevents you from ever experiencing joyousness.

This may become so much part of who you are, you can lose virtually all capacity for sustained peace of mind.

Staying in an unrewarding, stifling, or whatever sort of relationship it is for you, is a big sacrifice to make. There will be no acknowledgment of your achievement, nor awards or prizes.

Do the compatibility relationship test and take head of the results. You are now at a fork in the road of life, and the decision you make will have major consequences for the rest of your lifetime.

My Relationship Tips asked:


So, you thought you have finally found the ONE.

Someone who has an established career, with stable financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has finally come into your life.

But, just when you thought you’ve finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, everything seems to be wrong and complicated. Suddenly, he has lost his job, she went bankrupt, he became careless, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your partner in dealing with the issues but it always turns out that he or she’s too good to ask help from anybody-even you.

Still, despite everything you still do almost everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they’re in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that’s the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.

Being stuck and stranded

It is always hard to end any kind of relationship-especially if it’s a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is precious, you should know when to end a relationship especially if you are well-aware that its not doing you any good.

The signs of the times would probably tell you if you are already being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts agree that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through unusual periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in some relationships. You will also know if you are already in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves incessant aggravation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.

The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and comprehension, he or she doesn’t want to make any commitment, doesn’t profess his or her feelings even if there is a sort of commitment or plainly incapable of loving someone else besides him or herself.

Studies also show that in any bad relationship, the couple is often on dissimilar wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment.

Since bad relationships usually stem from chronic reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even damage the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also destructive for persons especially those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.

Aside from emotional distress, staying in a bad relationship can be hazardous to someone’s health. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and various chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.

Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person’s overall health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body’s resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression.

If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent ******* attempts.

Breaking free

What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.

If you are already in a bad relationship that robs you off your freedom to be yourself, the freedom to love other person, and the freedom to get out of an unhealthy and destructive relationship, here are some of the things you can do to recover.

1. Consider your wellness as the first priority in life whether you are in or out of a romantic relationship.

2. Try to be “selfish” at times by focusing on your own needs above all else.

3. Be strong enough to deal with your own problems.

4. Have a positive outlook in life and cultivate whatever positive values you acquired within the relationship.

5. Nurture you spiritual side and try to look for ways or activities that can bring you inner peace.

6. If the relationship was quite traumatic, think of getting professional help or find a support group where you can chare your experiences and the lessons you have learned.

7. Don’t be afraid to fall in love but try to be more cautious next time so you won’t be stuck in a bad relationship.

W. Miller asked:


You are here because you are wondering how to save a relationship, your relationship. Maybe one or both of you works long hours. Maybe one or both of you feels neglected. Maybe infidelity is involved. No matter, the question is how to save the relationship. Here are 5 important steps on how to save your relationship…

Step 1 - Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

The first thing you must do is figure out if your relationship is really worth saving. Now, it is true that nearly every relationship can be saved with hard work and commitment from both parties in the relationship. But, both parties must be committed to make it work. If one does not commit to it, then there is little that can be done to save the relationship. And many couples stay in a relationship because it is convenient / easier to do, or, stay because of the children.

How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is really worth saving and not just for the children (although this is important) or convenience sake.

Step 2 - Identify The Root Problem(s) In Your Relationship

Next, you must figure out the problem(s) in your relationship. And I mean the root problem, not the symptom(s). One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people generally mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself. For example, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes break ups. But the affair is a usually a symptom of a deeper problem.

For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying partner, who otherwise might not have strayed. While most people look at the ‘affair’ as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair is the ‘lack of intimacy’ in the primary relationship. True, you might be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of ‘guilt’, but another problem could occur simply because you have not dealt with the root problem, the lack of intimacy.

This is only one example, but when you start to deal with the root problems in your relationship and not the symptoms, then your relationship can be saved.

Step 3 - Communicate Effectively 

Having pinpointed the root problem(s), you should now be in a much better position to begin to share your thoughts with each other. This means listening to your partner’s concerns, as well as verbalizing your own feelings and concerns. You can hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are all over the place.

And remember that, when your partner says things that may hurt you, they are not doing it to hurt you, but because they want to improve your relationship. This is a very important part of the healing process, so keep your head and do not let your emotions run away with you.

Step 4 - Create An Action Plan

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an agreed actionable plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to do, then arrange one night a week for example. And take turns coming up with creative ways to spend that evening together over the weeks. If it is not possible at this stage to spend an evening together, then agree to commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.

Step 5 - Accept That Saving A Relationship Is An Ongoing Process

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. And be patient.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to begin to save your relationship using 5 important first steps. But as with most things in life, but especially in a relationship, there are still many obstacles to overcome. If these are not handled right all your good work can be for nothing, and you may never experience the ‘magic of making up’.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to begin to save your relationship using 5 important first steps. But as with most things in life, but especially in a relationship, there are still many obstacles to overcome. If these are not handled right all your good work can be for nothing, and you may never experience the ‘magic of making up’.

Now, if you are still certain that you want to save your relationship then go here http://how-to-get-your-ex-back-using-magic.blogspot.com where you will get more free advice on video and some important info. on more advanced techniques on how to save your relationship.

My Relationship Tips asked:


Centuries before, women are expected to just stay at home, manage the household and take care of the children. Some will probably do some charity works just to have something that will occupy their free time. There is however no question on what should come first. Relationships and family will always be first priority.

Times have changed.

Today, women —-and men at that —- choose between career and relationships. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, most will choose career. A materialistic society spawned people who are more into careers than personal relationships. With a fast-paced world and the competitiveness in the professional world, they feel that opportunities in their careers will only knock once. Because of this they sacrifice their personal relationships in favor of their careers.

Some people even set-up their lives by completely deleting the need for choice. These are the people who are confirmed workaholics, building their career at the expense of family and relationships. But should there be a choice? Should there be a contest between personal and professional life? Should one be sacrificed for the other?

Some individuals have actually been able to handle having a relationship and building a successful career path. All it seems to take is proper time management and honesty.

Below are some tips on how to have the best of both worlds.

Set boundaries.

In managing both a career and a relationship, one thing that you should do first is to set boundaries and establish some ground rules. Define early on in the relationship what you want and just how far you can sacrifice one at the expense of the other. Your partner will appreciate the honesty. This will also help clear things and will define just where the relationship starts. Prioritizing work does not mean that you do not care for your partner or you love them less the same way prioritizing your partner and your family does not mean that you are not committed to your career.

Anticipate problems with schedules

Emergency deadlines and unexpected appointments are not new to work especially if you are holding an important position. This can lead to canceled dates or forgotten anniversaries. To prevent disagreements and misunderstandings, it is important that you anticipate things and talk about these kinds of situations before they happen.

Make your partner understand that you cannot turn away from your responsibilities. Talking about things will minimize fights and misunderstandings. Still, even though you have already talked about it, when the situation arises, apologize still and try to make up after. One mistake that couples make is they become angry when their partner expect them to still explain things.

Set time for each other

You can accomplish anything if you just set your mind to it. Making a success of both your personal and professional life just needs proper time management. While work is also an important part of your life, do not make it the center of your existence. Allot time for your partner. One strategy that will work is to set a specific night in a week where you both can go out and just be together. This way, you will already have an idea what dates to avoid when you are setting appointments.

You should also take a week off from work once or twice a year and spend it with your partner. Go to a tropical island or beach. Travel abroad. This way, you can regain the closeness that you have outside the pressure of your professional life.

Quality time vs quantity

It is not actually the amount of time that you spend together but how you spend your time. You can spend the whole week together but if you spend them worrying and thinking about work, you might as well go to the office. Make sure that if you spend time together, you will only be thinking of non-work things. Make the most of every minute that you spend together. Connect with each other and do things that you will both enjoy.

Work is work, love is love

If you are having problems at work, make sure that you do not bring it to your relationship. Try to separate these two components of your life.